My Chains are Gone, I’ve been Set Free: A Testimony of God’s Goodness

So… here’s my story, or rather,  part of my family’s story, but here it is from the view that I had of it, and how God used it in my life.  

February 23rd, 2007, will be forever etched in my memory.  9 years ago today, my perfect little 14 year-old life fell apart, but God had a plan…  Here’s the synopsis of the story that I sent February 22nd, in a group text a few years ago (edited for clarity😉):

6 years ago today…  Grandma’s funeral was over.  It marked the end of a long, hard week – or so we thought. During the dinner that took place afterward, a man from church reminded Dad of a special Men’s Meeting for couples that was to take place THAT NIGHT! Dad knew what the meeting was about  and wanted to go, but it had been such a tiring week…  would Mom go? Miraculously, she said “yes!” One of the videos [shown] was Openness & Brokenness by Paul & Jenny Speed. Another man also shared his testimony. Dad knew that he had to be open and broken if he ever wanted to be free from his secret sin of lust, porn & self-gratification. Mom wondered, “who was this for?” But being a good wife, she asked Dad [on the trip home] if he had anything he needed to tell her. He replied that he did, but that he would tell her in the morning. Fast forward (through a lot of hurt, uncertainty & bad stuff) to today… Dad is FREE, and Dad & Mom have the BEST marriage in the world! God is SO awesome! Thank you Dad for coming clean! PTL!!! 

After Dad came clean with us, the feelings of pain and hurt smothered me, and I felt like I was suffocating.  I was shocked, and felt so betrayed.  Up until that morning, I basically thought that my daddy was pretty near perfect!  I remember questioning God almost every night after that… “Why God?  Why us, why our family?”  I had nowhere to turn but to Jesus.  My family was hurting, like I was, and none of my friends understood what I was going through…  Sometimes talking out loud helps me to think, and work through my emotions.  God didn’t answer me audibly, but one night as I cried myself to sleep, I felt His peace sweep over me.  I knew in that moment that He was WITH me and that I wasn’t alone!  He, the Creator of the universe, understood my pain!  The only way I can really describe it it is that I felt His presence envelope me, like a comforting hug, as I drifted off to sleep that night.   It was unlike any human hug, but it was real!

This was a real turning point for me in my walk with The Lord.  Life was especially hard then, but I’d go through it all over again if I had to — it was way worth it in the long run!  Because of my daddy’s openness, I later confessed to him and Mom some things that had happened in my own life that I had determined to take with me to the grave.  No matter how trivial they might seem now, Satan had a stronghold in my life because I had agreed with him to keep those things hidden from my parents.  

Today my daddy walks in freedom from the chains of lust that had held him in bondage for so many years, and my parents are still together – something I thought was REALLY really close to impossible 9 years ago.  Dad & Mom will celebrate their 25th anniversary this September!  God is SO GOOD!  I am deeply grateful for this time in our lives, as it drew me closer to Jesus, and gave us all a deeper understanding of the mercy and forgiveness of God.

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One thought on “My Chains are Gone, I’ve been Set Free: A Testimony of God’s Goodness

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  1. Our moms are good friends, have been for years as you know, so when this happened in your family, your mom called mine and tried to make sense of it by talking it out. I think talking to my mom helped her, but I really have no idea. Mom had a different perspective than most because my parents have struggled with this issue as well, and your mom knew that. You might not so I’ll share a little bit.

    Quite a long time prior to your dads confession, my mom had discovered the same deceitful, lying, underhanded, adulterous behavior in my dad. I would have been about 7 or 8 at that point. She would have been pregnant with Megan, had a 2-year old and a 4-year old… She thought they had resolved it, dad claimed he was done with it, but he really wasn’t. My sister & I had both walked in on him on two separate occasions but didn’t tell mom. When Megan discovered his dirty little secret, she talked to me about it.

    I had walked in on him multiple times, and honestly didn’t care at the time because I figured “Whatever, this is his problem, this is between him & mom”. I was wrong to think that at the time, and should have told mom, I know that now, but Mom got very frustrated at one point & blew up about his lying behaviors, didn’t know I knew about it so felt bad that she was dumping on me, then felt even worse when she realized I had known for a very very long time. Megan’s discovery made strike 3 for Dad and I talked to mom about it after Meg told me.

    Because of it being strike 3, it almost caused my parents to split as well. Mom made the point by the time it reached this point, that all of us kids were adult enough to understand what was going on. No more hiding, no more secrets and if he did it ever again they were done. She had his bags packed and everything. He’s been 3-years “clean”… but with some rules to help keep him clean.

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